Trendy Kid Pillows

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

Haircuts

Men's business romper.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Musical notes bubble gum.

Pop Culture for Teens

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

Little Red Riding Hoodie

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

Jeans sale

Can I get you another coffee?

Popeye Switches to Kale.

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

Back To School Supplies.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

'Your father says he'll stop wearing his pants like that when you do.'

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

Fashionista

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

"For the last time, there is no virus under your bed."

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"Of course I'm familiar with crop tops. It's just the crop bottoms, not so much."

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

'Why do you have your hat on backwards?'

'My mom's taking me for a haircut, she want's to see what I look like!'