Trend Resister T-Shirts

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"This is daring, but I like it."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

A man without a chicken on his head!

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'I often tried wearing my pants like that, but I always ended up forming other letters.'

Solar Flares

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

Self Magazine,

Too Much?

Shoe Whore

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

Traffic Offence Selfie

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

Butterfly Woman

"We're starting to get media coverage. Pass it on."

"We were really looking for someone who could lead people. How many followers do you have on Twitter?"

"I don't want an 'outfit'. I just want clothes."

The Fashion for Elaborate Hairstyles

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

Sitting Out the Lambada

"I like its easygoing spirit, but light mauve shows jelly."

"Acrylic, hemp, fire wax on mirrored aluminum and stainless steel."

"And the waistband of your underpants: showing or not showing?"