Trend Bender Pillows

"Whoa, Fred!! Where'd you get that ridiculous shirt??!"

'I've taken my knowledge of science and math and applied them to fashion to produce a wardrobe that's guaranteed to malfunction to get you the most possible publicity.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Alternative fielding positions

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

Black hole setting

The Mainstream

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Boys Cooking

Gender-Neutral Rapunzel

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

The Eclectic Chair

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

Fun on the pyramids