Tree Tender T-Shirts

"First time pruning?"

'The plums are dry. It's time to prune.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Watering Money

Boy and Bear and Monster

"Lovely dovetail."

Timber preservation

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

Sawrd Fighting

'Isn't nature wonderful? All those sycamore seeds fluttering over our garden - and every last one of them fertile.'

Tree growing

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

Sixpack to die for.

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

'It's only now that we've chopped down all the trees that we can see the damage we've done.'

Gardening Tips - training fruit trees can greatly increase their yield

'Give it to me straight, doctor - is it Dutch Elm Disease?

Man talking to a tree.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

"You were very brave."

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

Skyscrapers.

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

The festive season brings it's own interesting little chores...and well earned rewards.

"It's okay, it only thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"

Man using a trampoline to reach and prune a tree.

"Two beers and Beethoven's Fifth, please."

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'