Tree Teaser Gifts

Green Pieces 90% Air

"First time pruning?"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

Gardening Tips - training fruit trees can greatly increase their yield

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

'The plums are dry. It's time to prune.'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

I confess, I'm one of the bloggers that's hurting the journalism business. You? I blog stories about my local community. You have journalistic training? Of course. I've spent years watching Shepard Smith and Montel Williams. The visitor wept with respect. Shoot me.

Dunk Hunt

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

'He calls me lambchop and I call him muttonhead.'

"Sean, are you teasing the seagulls again?"

'and to think I never used to believe all that stuff about women drivers!'

'Mom! Betty lou called me a 'TWIRP' 'You are a twirp!'

"Ha! The joke's on him. All I did was pee."

I couldn't find my other wig

'Darling, that memory course I've been doing, can you remember its web address.'

'HA! Look, Dad! My hair is so thick I've got my comb stuck in it ...again.'

Vicar Baiting

'I don't know how you kids can sit around all day watching this garbage on television.'

Bonsai Garden Incinerator

'Are you enjoying watching the telly off, on demand?'

Increase your IQ with an 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirt.

"My uncle's got a wooden leg..."

Car towing boat driving over bridge. Boat towing car riding under bridge.

'He's completely wrapped up in himself.'

'Our pop-up is big, but it's not that big. So put your big screen TV, stero and computer back in the house!'

Role Reversal