Tree Talkers Pillows

"Now that's a splinter."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Now it fits.'

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

Bonsai Exhibit

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

Cow talking to cat up a tree.

Hanukkah tree

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

"I'm worried about burnout."

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'My needles are falling! My bark is peeling! I must have Dutch Elm Disease!'

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

Go Back to New York

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

'Give it to me straight, doctor - is it Dutch Elm Disease?

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

Other things trees do in the forest when nobody's there to hear:

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

Landscape artist

Unfinished Furniture.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Man talking to a tree.

Why the sudden interest in Autumn?