Tree Swingers T-Shirts

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Do you have anything bigger?

"I brought cocoa."

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

Stop and Birch

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

The Amateur Golfer

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

Tree Squirrel

Thursday is the new Friday

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Ozone layer claims another victim.

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

Swinging through the jungle.

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Camouflage Unit

The Re-Giving Tree

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

Frank and Ernest Nursery. We sell mature trees. Come in for a shady deal. Uh, Ernie, about this sign you put out.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

No tree hugging.

Welcome to Kew Gardens

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted