Tree Doctor T-Shirts

"Now, nobody fall while I'm gone because I won't hear it."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Intelligent people laugh too!

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"First time pruning?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

Selfie Stick

Hermit Crabapple Tree

Tree house.

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

"It's just a tree."

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Tree Passion

"Oh, quit your whining. At least yours comes back in the Spring

Stop and Birch

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"We're trying to help you!"

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Clouds

Fall fashions

A tree cries its leaves off like tears