Tree Doctor T-Shirts

"Now, nobody fall while I'm gone because I won't hear it."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Intelligent people laugh too!

"First time pruning?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Hermit Crabapple Tree

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Selfie Stick

Tree house.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"It's just a tree."

Tree Passion

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"Oh, quit your whining. At least yours comes back in the Spring

Stop and Birch

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

"We're trying to help you!"

"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

Fall fashions

A tree cries its leaves off like tears

Clouds