Treadmill Joker Pillows

Working out

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Jogging Bottoms

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

Olympic Torch Training

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Bicycle Sidecar.

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

Very drunk professional cyclist

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Ants stealing from the picnic.

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Gym: Back and Forth or Going Nowhere.

"Still on your left."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!