Travelers With A Sense Of Irony Pillows

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

Public footpath on a desert island.

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"Thank god we're out of the city."

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'I keep telling myself that this is better than a crowded beach in Spain...'

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

Death Takes A Time-Share

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

"I said 'how about some dessert,' Andy. Dessert!"

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

'It'll be a working vacation.'

"I want to explore the brutal and true civilisation, to explore lands on troubled by tourist boards, and if you could sort five-star accommodation and decent Wi-Fi that would be perfect."

Hiker and the Rodents.

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

"Apparently our hotel is just a stone's throw from the beach..!"

"You'll get three meals a day,but they will all be continental breakfast."

Holiday photos.

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

Excess Baggage: From the 'Travel Promises that never meant to be kept' department.

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

'I know you don't like to travel, but I just want you to run this down the hall.'

Toilet door. Table for one!

"Now I know why those cruise tickets were so cheap!"

'Oh, great! We've been going round in right-angled triangle.'

Customs and Examinations.

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

'Now that's what I call a tourist trap.'

Southwest Hampton

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