Travelers With A Sense Of Irony Pillows

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

Public footpath on a desert island.

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

'I keep telling myself that this is better than a crowded beach in Spain...'

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

Hotel mini-bar.

Death Takes A Time-Share

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

"I said 'how about some dessert,' Andy. Dessert!"

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

'It'll be a working vacation.'

"I want to explore the brutal and true civilisation, to explore lands on troubled by tourist boards, and if you could sort five-star accommodation and decent Wi-Fi that would be perfect."

Hiker and the Rodents.

"Apparently our hotel is just a stone's throw from the beach..!"

Holiday photos.

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

Excess Baggage: From the 'Travel Promises that never meant to be kept' department.

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

"You'll get three meals a day,but they will all be continental breakfast."

'I know you don't like to travel, but I just want you to run this down the hall.'

Toilet door. Table for one!

"Now I know why those cruise tickets were so cheap!"

'Oh, great! We've been going round in right-angled triangle.'

Customs and Examinations.

'Don't worry. I have no intention of drinking the water.'

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.