Traveler Extraoridinaire Gifts

'Do you realize this is the third time we've packed up and moved to Canada?'

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Vaccination Passport

"Convertible. Must be nice."

"Evolution, here I come!" "Oh, no - the sea level is rising!" "There's still a chance!"

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

'Anything to declare?'

"Hi. We're from the future."

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

"You'll get over him."

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

Vacation on the Moon.

Bev puts on an old favorite

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

"Yes, it's half past two - is that all?"

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

'Go to Hell'

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'