Travel Show Host Gifts

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

At the celebrity jobcentre...

'What zip code are we in now?'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"My guess it's guacamole."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Airplane food

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.