Travel Gift T-Shirts

"Gawd Martha, what do they look like?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Mouse returns home from work.

'Hang on a minute...'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Loopholes

"Ticket and passport, please."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

Somewhere in France: The Fabric of Daily French Life Is On Display

Snake Charming

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'Now I know why they called this airco model 'Marilyn Monroe'.'

"You can already make reservations and travel as soon as climate change has caused sea levels to rise!"

Cannibal recipes.

Chicken Road Crossing

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

S. S. All You Can Eat

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"It's kind of hard to know where these photos were taken: The backgrounds are very similar..."

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

Sure, it's nice. It was just this spring I was hoping for a jacuzzi!

Angel in the Departure Lounge

'My Christmas list-Chapter 1'