Trash-to-treasure Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Armstrong, why do we have Fourth of July decorations up? It's months away." "Exactly." "A true patriot loves his country regardless of the date." "A true patriot celebrates the founding of our corporatocracy every single day of the year, minion." "Some of the decorations are smeared with coffee grounds and banana peels." "A true patriot knows that one cafe's dumpster is another cafe's treasure."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

Treasure Island Book.

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

"Can you believe Jim made all the furniture out of old rubbish?"

"...it's another metal detector."

'Treasure map nothing! This shows the location of the only coffee shop on the island.'

Extreme Yard Sale

"Mmm....say, cookie! What's this garbage you're feeding us?"

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

Magazine Lover's Weekly magazine

'I'd love a career in waste management!'

Recycling container marked 'free stuff'.

"Don't be late - I'm making moldy meat and orange peels over coffee grinds with a side of egg shells."

Armstrong, why do we have Fourth of July decorations up? That was last week. Exactly. A true patriot loves his country regardless of the date. A true patriot celebrates the founding of our corporatocracy every single day of the year, minion. Some of the decorations are smeared with coffee grounds and banana peels. A true patriot knows that one cafe's dumpster is another cafe's treasure.

Plogging Marathon

'Minibar' - A HotelMotel with an actual miniature Bar and Bartender in its minibar fridge.

'When I stressed how vital data security is, I should have mentioned the importance of convenient access...'

The Trash Rocket

'No dear, don't worry. It isn't recycled from old toilet tissue.'

'What can you possible see in this piece of junk?'

An oyster shows off it has a diamond instead of a pearl.

End of the Rainbow.

"Well sold all OUR junk - he bought all this new junk off the table next door."

F.Y.I., eating a 40-watt bulb does not make you "enlightened"!

"How romantic - celebrating our anniversary at the dumpster where we first met!"

"I told you that parrot was a con-artist! That's a fake pirate's treasure-map you've bought!"

Dumpster Diving

'It's one of those evenings when I just open a can.'

Trash Time

"According to the map the cryptocurrency treasure must be buried here!"

Garbage Dump/Used Gems