Trash-talking Gifts

Talkin' Trash

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Rubbish and Everest

Dustbin monster.

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

"I had a lovely evening talking trash with you."

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

Pie chart of pub conversations

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator.

Trash-talkin' artists

We're polishing our brand.

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

Bin Inspector

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"Help!"

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

"Did you order takeout?"

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

'Mum, why are we called seagulls?'

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

Man throws his burger wrapper into the trash.