Transparency Paradox Enthusiast Pillows

"I move for less transparency."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

The Meaning of Life

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

Report

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."

Closing Laugh Ministry of Info

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

"Full disclosure. . . we're not disclosing anything."

Weapens of Mass Redaction

"Ok, now, let's get one of you demanding your privacy."

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

Panic broke out in the White House when it got so smoky they couldn't see the mirrors.

Fake ecologist

'Of course it's a transparent administration, they can't keep a secret.'

"People who live in glass houses are rare."

"We managed to make ends meet."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"What beats me is how you global warming sceptics always turn out to believe in local warming."

Zeno Gives Directions

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

"It's only a matter of time before we realize that time doesn't exist."

Wanderer dropping phone above the sea of fog

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

'I've released my financial records, tax records, health records...is anyone interested in my position on the issues?'

"Having an honest relationship with customers is admirable, but telling them that this sale is 'to get ride of all the crap we can't sell normally' might be a step too far!"

Barr reviews Mueller report on Trump