Translation Humor Gifts

"Earbuds are tiny headphones."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

She - Interpreter - He.

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Jorge Luis Borges

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"It's a swearbox."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Only one of us can be 'The Funny One'."

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

Orator translates in many languages.

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

"I'm sorry. . . but I can't understand a symbol you're saying."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Boris Pasternak

To his dismay, Captain Kirk stumbles upon a Vulcan handsign-to-English translation website,

"What?"

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

"Ok, I've translated it, it says 'Feeling cute, might delete later'."

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

English As A Second Language