Transitional Decorator T-Shirts

"He's too old for Winnie the Pooh, you said, let him pick his own wallpaper, you said..."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Fittd shēt

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Early cave painters

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Hmm, now that I see it, I think I like the dam back where you put it before.

Pollock Painting Company

"Love your feng shui!"

Curtains haberdashery

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

Pea green

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."