Transit Officer Gifts

"I'm from the Transit Authority. O.K. so far, but anything criminal and you're out of here."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

No jay walking.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Street signs you don't want to see.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Careful."

One way only.

Planned service changes

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

Subway Thrillers

"Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact..."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

Speeding Forklift

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

Speed enforced by tractor beam.

Car with a rams head sticking out the front

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

'Passengers were on their way to a clown convention. We've 7 fatalities and 174 in hospital.'

'Mostly we just block traffic.'