Transit Officer Gifts

"I'm from the Transit Authority. O.K. so far, but anything criminal and you're out of here."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

No jay walking.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Careful."

Street signs you don't want to see.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Planned service changes

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

Subway Thrillers

"Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact..."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

Speeding Forklift

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Attention: Speed Troughs

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

Car with a rams head sticking out the front

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

'Passengers were on their way to a clown convention. We've 7 fatalities and 174 in hospital.'

Speed enforced by tractor beam.