Transformation Philosophers Gifts

"Beetles remain beetles, birds remain birds, dogs remain dogs - why the hell can't we remain caterpillars?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

The Googler

Screen Time vs Book Time

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Pharaoh Cocoon

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"You've changed."

"I wasn't expecting to be in here for so long."

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...

Like.

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"After seventeen years underground, I'm gonna buzz my ass off."