Traffic Surveyor Gifts

Traffic Census

"Do I report in daily or just once a year?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Please Drove Carefully.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

Dog Crossing

When Engineers Crack.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

No jay walking.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Monday: Next 7 exits.

Street signs you don't want to see.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

One way only.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"Dadgum this color blindness."

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'