Traffic Surveyor Gifts

Traffic Census

"Do I report in daily or just once a year?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Please Drove Carefully.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

Dog Crossing

When Engineers Crack.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

No jay walking.

Monday: Next 7 exits.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Street signs you don't want to see.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

One way only.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

"Dadgum this color blindness."

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."