Traffic Dodger Gifts

Beating the rush hour traffic

Lots of men squeezed into a small car.

'Do you realize we could be waiting in line at the restaurant by now, Patty?'

Run. Freeze. Run again! Turn around. Run! No, freeze!

The Fast Lane.

"Thanks to the holiday-traffic avoidance kit I bought off the Internet, we'll be at the store and back in no time."

"This way we avoid the turnpike."

Up, Up and Away?

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'If you're going to keep reminding them how you used to ride on the main thoroughfare without a helmet, at least make it sound like you regret it.'

'Beat the congestion charge, get your replica Ken Livingstone plates here.'

City Island

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

'Go ahead, Calvin. Get yourself killed. I've warned you a million times about dribbling in traffic.'

Give us a ride and be able to drive in the car pool lane.

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'The view is great, but sometimes you've got to hang out with the non-fliers.'

Is Driving Doomed?

"It comes with a two-car garage in convenient Ramapo, New Jersey."

Fourth quarter, four minutes on the clock, all tied up, and they're off! Will the Johnsons beat the traffic?!

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

The Forever Stamp

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."