Traditional Reader Gifts

If you choose to read on a Kindle in the privacy of your own home, that's your business, but we're still calling the a X$%^ book club.

Book

Audio Books.

"It's called a book, Kevin. You'll probably find that turning the page works better than swiping."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Gen-Next Library

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Audio Books

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Two Generations of Readers

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Large print e-book.

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Bront?saurus.'

Mr. Stryver at Tellson's Bank

Print Suicide

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

"I guess that's the place for people too poor to afford a kindle, huh dad?"

Jane Austen

"I dropped my goblet!"

Books and Phones

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

A new meaning in the Roman

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

Books*. *Batteries not included.

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

Pastoring for Dummies

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'