Traditional Manliness Aficionado Gifts

"Excuse me, but are you using that mustache right now?"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Abacus.

Shall I be mother?

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

Penguin trying on a suit.

'You're lucky-you've the knees for it.'

Amish personal mobility scooter

"I know it's a little old-fashioned, but I'm a Capricorn, and I thought it would be romantic if I carried you over the cusp of our First House."

A dog waits in anticipation for a man to toss a caber

"It's terribly old fashioned I admit, but I've fallen for a white middle class, male."

"Oh, great, the fundamentalists are back."

Seder Plate Symbols Explained

"I'm mostly thankful for leftover halloween costumes."

"We don't let computers mess up your medical records. We do it by hand."

"Now that Halloween is over, it's time for a much more serious tradition."

"I love a ceremony that has some tradition in it."

A dreary maypole

Old Country Buffet.