Manliness Admirer Gifts

Taekwon DOHHEAD: 'Grrrrr!'

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

Love

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

Alpha males through the ages!

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

Ping Pong Handshake.

Tip responsibly

"I am wearing the new bikini you saw...unfortunately, my father saw it too, and made me wear this over it!"

"I forgot my phone."

'He's almost human.'

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."

Telepath for Ms Thompson...

'I'm getting kind of bored, Jim. Can I put you on hold?'

"Dear, do you think you may have become too comfortable with your masculinity?"

"Real men don't shave, but, if you have to, don't be dainty about it."

"Why do I get lumbered with Myrrh!"

If golfers were honest with themselves.

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

'She's going to be a TV presenter.'

True Modesty.

'It's a 4-hr DVD on the proper way to hold a wine glass - plus a free 2-year subscription to How to Hold A Wine Glass Magazine!'

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'