Traditional Jobs Pillows

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

Working 9 to 5.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

"What time is it mentally?"

I like you Roger:- you've got sticktoitiveness.

"I don't care how many likes you got for it on Facebook it's still a D minus!"

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

Workaholic

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

When Policy Fails, Try Thinking.

'Hard day at the office, dear?'

Living life dangerously 2010.

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

"No, Kevin, it won't work to select one sentence and paste it 49 times."

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

Indian hollowing out log for a canoe sees woodpecker pecking his log

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise... if you work hard!' 'I knew there'd be a catch!'

"It's his first day back at work."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

I tried sleeping last week, but it was so relaxing I couldn't get much done.

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

Winery: Employees Must Wash Feet Before Returning to Work.

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

'I don't care how young it makes you feel. You work here, you carry a briefcase.'