Traditional Business Gifts

"Of course you're not learning anything new here at Petherington and Snoode - we're a very old company!"

"There aren't many jobs for teenagers these days."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Letter writing lady.

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

"I strongly feel we need to start thinking inside the box again."

Ronald was born to Boogie but was stuck in a Square Dancing body.

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

Paradigm shifters company.

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

Elephant Upgrade

Living life dangerously 2010.

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

HOT DOGS - Pay-per-chew

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

Shaker Timeouts

And remember son, never take your grandfather's picture down from the boardroom - it's bugged.

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

'I don't care how young it makes you feel. You work here, you carry a briefcase.'

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

'Here's trouble, it's the militant wing of the Philatelic Society!'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

"We're out of chrysanthemum." "I ordered chrysanthemum tea. This is not chrysanthemum tea. This is chamomile." "I've had a chrysanthemum tea every day for the last 80 years, and I'm still alive and well." "Are you trying to kill me?" "Are all old folks this superstitious?" "Superstition's always worked in the past."

Conkers

Boobing for Apples

Abdul tried his hand at 'virtual' snake charming.