Tradition Remixer Gifts

All-Candy Seder.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

'Oh yeah? Well, to hell with tradition. We're building a snow woman!'

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

"Is that neat whisky?"

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

'You have your Boxing Day dip and I'II have mine...'

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

Cowpunk

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

No right to wear white.

What do you mean you don't want a nose ring?

Easter and Passover Island

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

"Come on, let me see the picture."

'We, too, celebrate Hallowe'en.'

'The following program was made possible by remixing a bunch of OTHER programs....'

"My Dad keeps playing the awful originals to my remixes."

Sorry Jerry, you've gone all muffly. Have you been shat on again?

Mother says to son on Bonfire Night: 'Of course, we won't actually be burning the Guy because of the carbon emissions.'

"It's what I was appointed Head Master for - to bring this place kicking and screaming into the nineteenth century."

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'Get Offa My Lawn!'

"Boxing Day is cancelled this year. We're going to stop cold turkey."

Computer video dreidel.

"I think I see some eggs in here."

"Since we're about experiences and not things, I didn't bother with a ring."

"Blech! Skim milk!"