Trading Gifts

Bull and bear checking in for work.

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

"Today on Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

'Charles, I want you to meet Joel. You have lots in common. He also thinks he knows how to time the market.'

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

'How can it be insider trading if a little bird told me?'

Investor walks tightrope graph balancing risk and reward.

Fortune - Lost a Fortune.

'You have been tried and convicted of insider trading. Have you any last tips to offer before I pronounce sentence?'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

'He's back on the ledge again! This time, he sold everything, and the market went back up.'

'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

Why money was invented.

'All this internet trading has caused you to neglect your children!' 'What children?'

'I thought you were supposed to be a day trader!'

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

Blame the messenger.

I'll trade you a gluten-Free Sandwich for lactose-free milk.

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'

Ron adopted an unorthodox approach to making investment decisions.

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'Did you apply for our execution only service?'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Middle computer

'Look, I told you, I'll come and have dinner just as soon as I've broken even.'

'Making a profit was a lot easier before so many countries abandoned socialism and started competing!'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'