Trade Guru Gifts

'After a hectic day of trading, some of our traders need to decompress.'

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

The MBA Draft

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

Will work for ETFs

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"Invest in technology."

Career opportunities

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Uh-Oh..."

The Shrinking Dollar.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"