Toy Tactician T-Shirts

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"Get me a psychiatrist, preferably one with military experience."

"I don't even like toys. I just do this so people won't talk to me."

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

Kitchen Tetris

Building business relations.

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

The Use of Cavalry

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

Kosovo.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Snooker.

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

'Better get used to player rotation!'

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

"Next!"

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."

"Now we have all your arrows!"

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

Stone Age

They're inflatable trade barriers!