Toy Safety Enthusiast T-Shirts

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

The Rubber Ball Company

"That'll be five bucks."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

On the brink.

Rocking Horse

"Werewolves of London..."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"It's his emotional support animal."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

Childlike love

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'