Toy Expert T-Shirts

Little doctor. Little Quack

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"That'll be five bucks."

The Rubber Ball Company

Rocking horse

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Rocking Horse

"Werewolves of London..."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"It's his emotional support animal."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

Childlike love

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

One!

Teddy and friends.

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

Jack in the box on strike.

What can I play?

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'He loves that Lego set we bought for his birthday.'