Toy Obstacle Navigator Pillows

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

The Fast Lane.

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

Child driving a toy car

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Homeless count.

'Please tell me it shoots laser beams out of its eyes.'

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

Oops.

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

"Those are my unfinished connect-the-dots which I plan on finishing when I learn how to count past 10."

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

Low rates!

Someone's always fooling around with my toys phobia.

US Economy Boat.

Remote control bridge in bath.

'It's been an odd year.'

Couple with confusing pamphlets

"I can't believe I scored so low on my algebra test."

'Now do you think that's done any good?'

"Very impressive. I see you majored in accounting and minored in creative writing."