Indoctrinating the Torture Invaders of the Future
Toy Critic Gifts
Searching for a clever gift that resonates with a toy critic's playful yet discerning nature? Our collection offers humorous mugs, stylish t-shirts, cozy pillows, and eye-catching prints—all designed to delight anyone who loves analyzing toys with a fun twist. Perfect for adding a touch of personality to their space or everyday wear, these products make a memorable gift for those who savor toys and humor in equal measure.
'I want to exchange these toys from last year that I never asked for!'
Kid disappointed with tiny dinosaur toy.
'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'
'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'
Director/Action Man toy.
Build your very own conflict of interest!
'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'
Polluted geese
"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."
"That'll be five bucks."
Playdough's The Republic
Rocking Horse
"Werewolves of London..."
Toy Shops and Educated Children
"Where the hell's my Slinky?"
"It's his emotional support animal."
Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company
"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"
Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?
"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."
Childlike love
"Graduation day at kite flying school."
One!
Jack in the box on strike.
"Are you happy with your current ball?"
What can I play?
Toys
Typical bored kid of the New Millennium
Inaction Figure
'...and, of course you get a company car.'
"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"
Help me!
"Guess who figured how to call 911!"
"Mom! Dad! Do something!"
Toy Critic Gifts Collection
Toy Critic Mugs
Explore our range of mugs perfect for toy critics—bring humor and personality to their morning routine.
Toy Critic Pillows
Add a humorous touch to their decor with our cozy pillows tailored for toy critics.
Toy Critic Prints
Find eye-catching prints that celebrate their love for toys and their critical eye—perfect for decorating any space.
Toy Critic T-Shirts
Discover witty t-shirts designed for toy critics—wear their passion and humor with pride.