Town Dweller Gifts

Miniature Village - 'It used to be full size but the post office went...then the pub...then the shop...'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Marshmallows

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Camping-Pong

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"Come and get it!"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

Reverse Mortgage.

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Upper West Side Story

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."