Tournament Organizer Gifts

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Face painting by numbers.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'Man, times have changed.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Sloth 10K.

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Occupational Hazards.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Cheerleaders

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

A woman watches football on her computer.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Extra Long-jump

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

Competitive tic-tac-toe

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."