Tournament Organizer Gifts

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Man, times have changed.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Face painting by numbers.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Occupational Hazards.

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Cheerleaders

A woman watches football on her computer.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Extra Long-jump

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

Competitive tic-tac-toe

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.