Tourist Trailblazers Gifts

"This has been fun, Hank, but let's not forget that the bus back to the city leaves in fifteen minutes."

The experienced backpacker.

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

Touring Holidays - On the P***

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'

Halloween in Bath

'Are we there yet?'

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

Noah's Ark

Nights in Bath

Monster Buskers

Le Roi Kong

'Have you ever had that creepy feeling that you're being followed?'

Ned's inflatable raft service was unable to stay afloat, and ended up going under.

"Waste of money, I've been here 200 years and never yet seen a monster."

Toad roadkill.

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

With attendance falling, aquariums are turning to alternate sources of revenue.

'Natural bridge'

'Your excessive weight is a too-heavy carry-on and we must charge accordingly, excessively!'

"Yes, it's that way."

"One day, Dad, can I go backpacking?"

'No need to worry about the volcano - it's not very active.'

'Does it say 'business class?''

'My parents went to the crocodile petting zoo and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

'That reminds me. . . how's your mom?'

"Looks like you're not the only one wearing impractical shoes in the woods."

Professional Grade Cargo Shorts

"I think your Arabic is coming along fine for your trip to Casablanca, with or without the Humphrey Bogart impression."