Toupee Tester Gifts

'I wouldn't recommend this job to anyone with a toupee.'

Bad for you but to die for

Tension filled the tent.

Exam

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Good Luck with your finals.

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

Empty Headed Schoolboy

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

Bigger Brain

Avocado Timeline

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

History student: 'I remembered the Alamo ... but forgot everything else!'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'The penguin is upset...'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Big Burgers.

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'