Tough Cookie Pillows

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

'Who gave you the black eye?' 'Nobody. I had to fight for it!'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Works every time.'

"Ninja bread men"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The roof needs icing.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"The cookies are always stale."

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

A complimentary biscuit

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."