Tough Cookie Pillows

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

'Who gave you the black eye?' 'Nobody. I had to fight for it!'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Ninja bread men"

'Works every time.'

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The roof needs icing.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

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"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'...Unt yur sufferink from a condition vee call tee 'Edible Complex'.'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

A complimentary biscuit

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."