Quick Cookie Pillows

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"Ninja bread men"

'Works every time.'

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'The roof needs icing.'

Instant Gratification Cafe.

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

TV Chef Cooking Range

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

Kid goes to Hideaway Bakery and sees a sign for a sale on upside down cakes. Cakes are upside down.

"The cookies are always stale."

A complimentary biscuit

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"It's my day off."

"Grandma is really nice but she makes a mean cookie."