Quick Cookie Pillows

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Ninja bread men"

'Works every time.'

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'The roof needs icing.'

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

TV Chef Cooking Range

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'...Unt yur sufferink from a condition vee call tee 'Edible Complex'.'

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

(No caption). Woman looks at cookie sheet which contains two cookies. One is a frowning gingerbread man whose arm, leg and part of its stomach have been bitten off. The second cookie is a smiling gingerbread man who has a very full stomach.

A complimentary biscuit

"The cookies are always stale."

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Kid goes to Hideaway Bakery and sees a sign for a sale on upside down cakes. Cakes are upside down.

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

'I've got a perfect investment plan: For half my money, I'll buy cookie plant stocks and for the the other half, I'll buy diet pill makers stocks!'

"Grandma is really nice but she makes a mean cookie."