Tough-as-nails Gardeners Gifts

Hell's Allotment Holders.

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

Shakespeare's Earliest Influences. To bean or not to bean ….. Ye Olde Limas. Jolly Goode Cukes. The Bees Peas.

The British love of the Vintage Motor Car.

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

Mowing the Jungle

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

'Mate, you've just paid two grand for a T-shirt and a hand-mower.'

Beehive

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

Gracie plants flowers and distracts boys with them while she plays soccer.

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

Tree's tree nursery. I can redesign your yard. We specialize in eco-friendly landscapes. AS long as it looks like Versailles. French chateaus aren't usually considered natural landscaping. Their lawns are super green. We prefer using native plants and reducing lawns. But I want it to look regal. No problem. We call it "eco-pretentious." Tres Bien!

HELL'S TILLERS.

"My plants have been growing so much better since I started texting them."

An apartment garden.

This had the potential to get really nasty...

"Sod climbing it - I'm gonna smoke it...!"

"He is very competitive. . . when he read about someone 'growing' a garden chair and he decided to grow a recliner and HDTV with surround sound system."

"Should I fix it or should I call it a water feature?"

Charging a plant

"Adam, I think I must be allergic to that fruit we ate back in the garden!"

Tombstones have names of vegetables on them.

'We planted some birds of paradise for ironic flair.'

'Digging in the garden again? Bad dog!'

'Steve hates getting ticks.'

"I've decided to eat healthy, so I'm growing a garden in my office. It also reduces the stress caused by working here."

Desert Island Rake