Pest-battling Gardener Gifts

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"Come and get it!"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

Emotional Support Pest

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'

Rabbits on Noah's ark

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Hell's Allotment Holders.

"You, Stanley, are a complete disgrace to cockroaches everywhere."

'How much would you charge to kill my husband'

'Stinkin' little gopher! I'll flood him out!!'

A man is seated as his desk, looking up with a fly swatter in front of him and flies stuck to the front of the desk.

Four fleas line up for a race on a dog: 'Hey, did you hear about Frank... he was scratched!'

'Sorry, no woodworm!'

"You crushed it!"

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

'It's just until the head lice problem at school clears up.'

"You fought the lawn, and the lawn won..."

'There's nothing as relaxing as fly fishing.'

'your wings, Chuck! Use your wings!'

Flea Clinic

An apartment garden.

'Got it!'

Grim Swatter

"Thank goodness they're only seasonal."