Pest-battling Gardener Gifts

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"Come and get it!"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

Emotional Support Pest

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'How long did you try before calling?'

Rabbits on Noah's ark

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

"You, Stanley, are a complete disgrace to cockroaches everywhere."

Hell's Allotment Holders.

'That must be the termite inspector.'

'How much would you charge to kill my husband'

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

"You crushed it!"

A man is seated as his desk, looking up with a fly swatter in front of him and flies stuck to the front of the desk.

Four fleas line up for a race on a dog: 'Hey, did you hear about Frank... he was scratched!'

'Sorry, no woodworm!'

'Stinkin' little gopher! I'll flood him out!!'

'Got it!'

Flea Clinic

'your wings, Chuck! Use your wings!'

'There's nothing as relaxing as fly fishing.'

"Thank goodness they're only seasonal."

"Probably midges"

Grim Swatter

"You fought the lawn, and the lawn won..."