Touchdown Spouse Gifts

"See? He's always interfering."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

American Football.

Football.

The Colonel reading Clive's letters to the ladies of the regiment.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

Megan Anna Rapinoe

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"You're back! You're really back...!"

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

Friendly fire!

"Give me a sporting chance, love ... pass me my wicket-keeping gloves."

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."