Tory Tale Follower Pillows

'I bumped into Michael Gove.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'Are you made of sugar?'

Thomas Hardy

Invisible clothes

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Upper West Side Story

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Tea Party and the US economy

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

'You can come closer - I'm a plankton eater.'

Newscorp hacks into itself.

The Fox and the Crow.

Not what he meant.

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

'The King replaced me with easy listening!'

'Icarus, I think your sat nav is failing.'

"We'd prefer a beheading, but we've decided to sue you instead."

"She was a dish when we ran away together but that was a long time ago."

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"I was a childless cat lady till someone ate my cat."

Count and Figaro

'Er. . . I had an appointment with Dr. Jekyll. . .'

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

'Do you always have to be so quick?'

Forward looking campaign

Twitter protection

"The secret of my win? Focus, my boy, focus! I stayed focussed, the hare didn't..."