Tortured Artist Admirer Gifts

Jean Genet.

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

Dead Funny

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Do you have a longer straw?'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"Right to Romeo"

Decaying corpse

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

A Poet

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

How information mingles in our brains

Police lineup

"The last doggy bag."

"Ah, how romantic. They're kissing under my missing toe."

Skinhead guppy.

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

Little girl imitating a painting in an art gallery

A Night In the Art Gallery

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

"Well, just when can you call for it, Mr. Harper?"

Gymnast tangled up.

'It was one of the great notes and was played by Beethoven and Lennon.'

"By the way, HarperCollins decided your book did not warrant publication."

Man: 'Hey WOW, it's true! Her eyes DO follow you around the room!'

"I don't think you're supposed to like it."

"I love what you do with low-hanging fruit!"

"Why don't you paint a picture – it'll last longer."

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

Pierre Bonnard.

Children of the Cornhole