Tortured Artist Admirer Gifts

Jean Genet.

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

Dead Funny

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Do you have a longer straw?'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"Right to Romeo"

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

How information mingles in our brains

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

A Poet

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

Decaying corpse

Police lineup

A Night In the Art Gallery

Peter Gabriel

Little girl imitating a painting in an art gallery

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

"Ah, how romantic. They're kissing under my missing toe."

"The last doggy bag."

Skinhead guppy.

'It was one of the great notes and was played by Beethoven and Lennon.'

Man: 'Hey WOW, it's true! Her eyes DO follow you around the room!'

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

"Well, just when can you call for it, Mr. Harper?"

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

"By the way, HarperCollins decided your book did not warrant publication."

"I don't think you're supposed to like it."

Gymnast tangled up.

"I love what you do with low-hanging fruit!"

"Why don't you paint a picture – it'll last longer."

Pierre Bonnard.

"In light of the recent normalization of so much abhorrent speech and behavior, the defendant respectfully enters a plea of "Seriously?" to the crimes he's charged with!"

Monet. Do they have paintings by other artists? Of course, Monet isn't everything!