Tooth Titan Pillows

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

"Sharpen my teeth! I'm a linebacker!"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Sisyphus during Covid

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Addiction to mobile.

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

'I'm trying to get in shape enough so I can wear Spandex in public.'

Bedtime Of The Gods

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

'It's called bipedalism, Ned, and it's the wave of the future. You better get with it or get left behind.'

'Welcome to the rat race.'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

'Why didn't you tell me there was a toilet attachment on our space suits?'

Hazard of texting

Workmen Lifting.

I love my mobile phone.

"Warning! Consumption of alcohol whilst using your phone increases the size of the send button by 90%."

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

'First I'll do some covers, then I'll play some derivative, cliche-ridden original material.'

"Don't get your hopes up, Buster."

"Great waves to day, dude!"

'I couldn't get the beans out of the toaster.'

"A door can never have too many hinges."

'Big tissue?'

"...You've already had two goodnight text messages."

'Make sure that when you type this up, you leave the 'caps lock' button on.'