Tooth Tale Teller Gifts

You're getting a crown for cosmetic purposes. You're not being made the ruler of all us other teeth.

Dentist's office - man has skull with missing teeth

"I've just had all my teeth removed. . . Never Again!!"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

Horror Stories.

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Early accounting scandals.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

The Hockey Puckey

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

It took awhile for fred and his new dentures to accept each other.

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

'Every time you speak, George, your new teeth whistle!'

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

'It started off as stories I told my wife.'

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

"Have a seat. She's not ready. She's still in her whitening strip."

My tail's cold.

The giraffe-tamer.

Little Red Riding Hood

'That's better than your fish stories, Dad.'

"You consistently lied about the size of the fish you caught. Well....we've all done that."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Dentist as Sherlock Holmes investigating a patient's mouth

Tall tales, short stories

Father imagining son with fish