Tool Tester Pillows

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Congratulations on your retirement!

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

The Hammer

Waiting for retirement.

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives