Tool-making Theorist T-Shirts

'Sure, the thumbs are great -- but how come we don't have opposable toes?'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"He loves his leaf blower."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Congratulations on your retirement!

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Waiting for retirement.

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

The Hammer

CLEAR!

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'