Tool-making Theorist T-Shirts

'Sure, the thumbs are great -- but how come we don't have opposable toes?'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Sale! Weed Whackers

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'Where do I put the batteries?'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Congratulations on your retirement!

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

The Hammer

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Waiting for retirement.

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

CLEAR!